Episode 2: How to Build an Authentic Life that is Fierce, Free and Full of Fire with Jen Hatmaker
Live Date: June 1, 2020
Show Description: For five years, Heather’s had the pleasure of serving one of the best women we know, Jen Hatmaker. If you don’t know her (we’re almost certain you do), Jen is the author of 12 books, including her latest New York Times bestseller, “Fierce, Free and Full of Fire.” She is also the creator and happy host of the award-winning For the Love! Podcast with Jen Hatmaker, delighted curator of the Jen Hatmaker Book Club and sought-after speaker who tours the country every year speaking to women. She and her husband, Brandon, founded the Legacy Collective and also starred in the popular series “My Big Family Renovation” and “Your Big Family Renovation” on HGTV. Jen is a mom to five and a zealous resident of Austin, Texas. Buckle up for a hearty conversation about living authentically, doing work on the inside, asking for help, remembering we deserve goodness, connecting and navigating friendships, and so much more. Jen reminds us that we can do hard things and come out on the other side better, stronger, and free.
- There is no better teacher than a mom. Our mentorship and example matters more than any words we say. Jen says our kids soak up everything we do, say, and feel, and we have to model what we want for them in our own lives. Every generation moves a little bit forward in this area and that’s great news for the generations that come behind us.
- Not being yourself – not living authentically – is exhausting and unsustainable. Jen’s new book, “Fierce,” is the anecdote to this. Women are taught from a very early age who they should be. By the time they are an adult, women can walk into any room and read it quickly- they know what’s going to work, who’s in charge, what the tone is, and what the sub-rules are. And, frustratingly, we know how to match them. “Fierce” teaches readers the reversal of this behavior. It is not a memoir. It’s a roadmap to being our most authentic and free selves.
- Part of being who you really are is speaking the whole truth about your life. Jen knows, personally, that truth has a cost. So how does one push past the fear of telling the truth? We have to start with ourselves first. Strip it down to the studs. Ask yourself, “Who am I?”
- Like so many women, Jen has struggled with body image – and still does. She encourages us to take the advice of Dr. Hillary McBride – to think of our body as “her” instead of an “it.” Our body is an integral part of who we are. That’s a good first step. Jen says a second step could be showing gratitude at the end of the day. Did your body do something hard or amazing? Thank her!
- Privacy and secrecy are two very different things. Secrecy is marked by shame and privacy is marked by discretion. Everyone does not have a right to know everything about you. Secrets break our hearts, our bodies, our minds, and our relationships. But, privacy is a right that we each have.
- “It’s no surprise that a great deal of us, rather than live truly in our own identity – the one we actually are – have decided to kind of squeeze it into a more preset form. Because that gets rewarded. It works.” – Jen Hatmaker
- “I deserve goodness, and I always have. Because I’m a human person. Because I am loved by God. I am created on purpose. That is true of everybody.” – Jen Hatmaker
- “When we create communities where we are not too prideful to say ‘I need help on this,’ we break down the barriers and it’s easier to both ask for help and also give it.” – Jen Hatmaker
- “Loneliness is the greatest predictor of an early death, more so than obesity, smoking, and alcoholism combined. Being lonely is making us sick and sad.” – Jen Hatmaker
- “We are not built for this. We are social creatures. We are communal creatures. Belonging and connection is our number one human need…Now is not the time to isolate in loss and loneliness. We have to double down on connection.” – Jen Hatmaker
- “Truth is our only way to a full life. We have no options.” – Jen Hatmaker
Resources and Links from Show:
- “Fierce, Free and Full of Fire: The Guide to Being Glorious You” by Jen Hatmaker
- “Of Mess and Moxie: Wrangling Delight Out of This Wild and Glorious Life“ by Jen Hatmaker
- “For the Love: Fighting for Grace in a World of Impossible Standards“ by Jen Hatmaker
- Schitt’s Creek
- Stay: A Blessing for the Ascension by Jan Richardson