Episode 44: How To Share Your Stuff To Build Meaningful Connections with Laura Tremaine
Live Date: February 1, 2021
Show Description: Today’s episode features Hollywood housewife, author, famed blogger and podcast host, Laura Tremaine. Laura shares insight on the significance of being vulnerable in order to cultivate deeper connections, steps to intentionally being a good friend during difficult seasons, her practical and personal perspective on anxiety, and the different ways that journaling can lead to transformation in your own life.
This episode will teach you:
- How to build meaningful relationships during a time of collective isolation
- A practical look at anxiety and how to to cope
- How sharing can be done in stages to ultimately break the fear of guilt, and shame that comes with being vulnerable
- Striking the balance between oversharing and knowing what to share both online and offline
- The importance of female friendships and how to ow to prioritize them during this season
- The transformation power of journaling and using prompts to inspire breakthrough
The Big 3 – Episode Takeaways:
- Laura wants you to know that the magic is in the sharing. There’s power in letting yourself be seen and using your voice to tell your own story. We understand that sharing can be scary and intimidating for many, and so Laura recommends sharing in stages by starting small. This could be as simple as sharing a selfie. You’ll find that the more you share, the less lonely it feels, and you’ll feel empowered to continue.
- We’ve all seen the shame that often comes with sharing your stuff, especially in the online space. How then can you determine what to share and when you’ve crossed over into oversharing? There is a bit of trial and error that comes to play here, but Laura also strongly suggests listening to your body and assessing how you feel whenever you share. Take a moment to pause and see what feels most authentic to you, chances are if you feel more like yourself after sharing something, you’re on the right path.
- Let’s face it, we’re all struggling to be a good friend during this season. We’re all dealing with so much that maintaining friendships and building new relationships have been quite the challenge. While Laura wishes to extend grace to all during these times, she challenges you to intentionally make time to prioritize your friendships. This can look like scheduling a standing date with friends that you protect on your calendar, or writing a list and keeping track of who you need to check in with. It’s important to figure out what works best for you and fight hard to stick to it.
Thoughts worth sharing:
- “I started realizing that there’s just so much about our culture that is ingrained, especially in women that to share ourselves, not just online, by the way, even just in our regular life, in our book clubs, in our mommy groups like to share ourselves really openly is considered tacky. It’s considered drawing attention to yourself, taking up too much space in the room. And we like to take in all these messages, our whole life that we are not supposed to take up that much space or share too much of ourselves as to draw attention away from others or to share the parts of ourselves.” – Laura Tremaine 12:52
- “I want people to share themselves like with their friends, with their loved ones, like in their communities to be, to be really seen by the people in their life. And when I kept getting all this feedback about how people felt like they couldn’t share, that’s when I really started paying attention in my own life, but the sharing is the magic part.” – Laura Tremaine 14:05
- “Letting myself be seen, hearing other people say back to me, ‘I feel the same way,’ that’s what made me feel less lonely after all these years. And so that’s when I really started to like hone in on telling people about the sharing, because it felt like a missed connection, a little bit. People loved other people who shared, but they weren’t connecting the dots that they should also be sharing.” Laura Tremaine 14:29
- “And to me, that is like a huge part of sharing when other people share something, again, if you don’t a hundred percent relate to it, but it does connect something for you that you do relate to. That’s why I want to share. It’s not just an unburdening of ourselves. It’s not just the loneliness factor. Although I care about both of those things, it’s also like applying it to our own life and thinking about something in a new angle, from a new perspective that we wouldn’t have, if the other person hadn’t shared it, you know?” – Laura Tremaine 27:51
- “I think that when you share yourself authentically that you feel like a better version of yourself, maybe not, maybe not at first, you might want to run and hide for like a week or something, you know, but slowly as you do that, I genuinely believe you start to feel more like yourself. It is empowering to share.” – Laura Tremaine 33:25
- “When I started to share differently, a little more authentically, a little less perfect. I feel like something in me loosened slowly. So it’s the difference in you know, doing yoga when you’re really, really tight and doing yoga, when you’re able to do like a real flow, you know, it is a loosening of ourselves when we are being more ourselves.” – Laura Tremaine 38:51
- “Well there are a million ways you can journal. I want to start with that because a lot of people think that journaling just looks like one thing. Like it’s like dear diary, here’s what I did today. And that is not what most journaling and adulthood looks like. I mean, if that’s what yours looks like, amazing, but for most of us, I do a documentation type of journaling. I say this happened this week or today or whatever, but a lot of my journaling, like on the daily is a lot messier than that. I journaled just like bullet lists. I journal in complete sentences. I can just dump my thoughts out on the page. And it is so clarifying. That is what’s transformative about journaling is sort of seeing on the page, your thoughts really help you solidify how you feel about something, or it really makes you understand a situation better or helps you take the next action.” – Laura Tremaine 56:24
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